How to Train Your Co-Leaders

Before we jump into how to train your co-leaders I wanted to give you an important question to ask when you are looking for co-leaders, Is this person or couple able to eventually lead a group of their own or are they just good helpers?  There is a BIG difference.  We all need those great people who are fantastic assistants but our co-leaders are those who will one day be leading a group of their own.

Also, another tip when looking for your co-leaders who are married, make sure that each spouse is good with one day leading a group.  Sometimes there is one spouse who is on board and ready to go while the other is hesitant.  If both are not good with it then we need to hold off until they can serve together as leaders.

Here are some ways to train your co-leaders:

1. Be the example and model to your co-leader how and what a Life Group leader does.  People learn quite well just by watching.

2. Allow your co-leader to take the lead in various areas.  To not overwhelm them, let them first just coordinate a meeting.  Then at the next meeting let them take the lead on the discussion time.  Let them get a feel for all the aspects that leading a group entails and then when you feel they are ready, let them take the lead for everything at a meeting (planning, coordinating, leading discussion, etc.).

3.  Make sure you share with them the importance of filling out the Life Group Report Form. This last step is vital for the leadership to know the health of the group, who is attending, who is not attending, who was invited and when the next meeting is. Sometimes people get invited into a group (which is great) but we may be trying to find them a group not knowing they have already plugged in. The Report Forms helps us know these things.

4.  Go over with them the Life Group Manual.  In doing so you will be sharing with them the purpose and vision of life groups.  If you need more copies please let Xene know.

5.  Make sure to encourage your co-leaders when you see them doing well.  It lets them know they are on the right path and will be a confidence booster for them.

6. Make sure you let them know the weak areas you see.  If good communication with the group, or keeping the meeting on a proper time schedule, or lack of preparation for the discussion time are areas you see they may struggle with, take some time with them to encourage them in this area.  Share with them how you communicate, or stay on schedule or prepare for the discussion time.  They will not learn and grow through their weak areas unless someone brings it to their attention and helps them with it.

7. Teach them how to find other co-leaders.  Once they themselves are leading a group they will need to begin training co-leaders too.  Let them know what qualities and characteristics they need to look for.  Referencing the post found here will help.

8.  And last but not least, If they are not a member of CCA, encourage them to attend the next Membership Night.  

As we teach and train new co-leaders, and they themselves become leaders who are teaching and training new co-leaders, we are multiplying ourselves.  By multiplying ourselves, we are multiplying our ministry!!

How to Recognize Potential Co-Leaders

Here are a few things that will help you when looking for your next co-leader(s).  It is very exciting that our life groups are so full, but that also means that we are to the point that if we don't train new co-leaders to become leaders we will no longer be able to add new people in groups.  And we have requests EVERY week for people who are interested in joining a group!!  So here are a few tips that I think will help you...

How to recognize a potential co-leader:

1. Look for group members who take Life Group seriously.

2. Look for gifted people.

3. Pray for new co-leader(s).  In Luke 6:12-16 we read where Jesus prayed all night before calling his 12 disciples.

4. Observe people who are on the same teams (Guest Services, Usher, Sound, etc.) as you.  If you see someone who performs their tasks well, works well with others, is always on time, these people are leaders and would make great co-leaders.

5. Look for people who you can see God at work in their life, who are emotionally stable and caring.

6. And look for people who have a teachable spirit and are willing to learn.

When you have determined you have found a person or couple that would be awesome life group co-leaders (and then leaders) your next step is to get with Tina or Xene and let them know whom you are thinking about asking. Sometimes we are aware of things that may exclude them from a leadership role at this time (They may be struggling with major issues, etc.).

Once you receive approval then it is time to talk to them. Let them know you see they possess leadership qualities needed to be a Life Group Leader and ask them if they would consider being a co-leader.

Here are a few responses you may receive from them and some great ways to address their concerns.

Typical objections to co-leading:

1. “I just don’t have the time.”-  Share with them that God has given them an ability to lead and to be used by Him is a great honor and privilege.  Cast the vision for the life change that can occur as they rise to the occasion and accept the challenge of co-leading a group with you (or another leader).  If they are already in a group then they are already setting aside time in their schedules to meet so let them know that being a co-leader or leader really doesn’t require much more time than that.  Just scheduling out your meetings and planning what to do and bring.  Let them know that they are not carrying the entire load of leading the group.   You (or whomever their leader is) are sharing the responsibility.  Once they co-lead for a while they will get a feel for it and realize that it is not the burden they think it is going to be.  And actually it is quite a fulfilling adventure!! 

2.  “I don’t have the gift of leadership.”-  Again, encourage them by reminding them that leadership is influence.  And they are already influencing someone whether they know it or not.  Let them know you see great leadership qualities in them (and share a few of them that you recognize) and let them know that you will make sure that they will receive the appropriate training they need to be effective.

3.  “I am not the leadership type.”  At this point you need to simply explore what the person really means by “leadership type”.  Perhaps their definition of leadership is incorrect.  They may view leaders and leadership as just people who are in charge and in control as opposed to someone who can facilitate life change by caring for, shepherding, discipling and loving others.

Sometimes all people need is for someone to believe in them.  Let them know that you do!

Thank you leaders for ALL you do!!  Please let Tina or Xene know if they can assist you in any way with identifying your next co-leader(s)!!

Timeline for Life Group Cycle

•  Attend Group Connect (where you will either add more members into your group or you will create a new group)
•  At Group Connect we will ask for everyone to give their group a trial run for 8 weeks (Date 4 Eight).  At the end of 8 weeks they will know if this is the group for them.  Please encourage your members to let you or Xene or Tina know if they want to try another group before the night you bring out the Life Group Agreement for everyone to sign. And make sure to reassure them that if they want to try another group that it is completely fine and that we know that not every group is for everyone. Otherwise they may think they will hurt the leader’s or the group’s feelings by leaving and choose to stay as a result. So it is our job to make sure they know that we want them to be in a group that fits them best so they can have the best life group experience.
• You will need to come up with an end date for your group which should be 18 -24 months out from your launch date and correspond with a Group Connect event date.  You can find Group Connect Dates here.
• At the end of the 8 weeks and once you know everyone wants to commit, then bring out the Agreement and read through it and have everyone sign it. You can print off your Agreement here.
• Send a copy of your Group Agreement to the office, 14906 Main Street, Alachua, FL.  This way we can plug in your people and your end date to help us know who is in a group and when we can expect you to attend the next Group Connect.
• Begin identifying a Co-Leader to train. Click here to read how to identify Co-Leaders. And click here to read how to train Co-Leaders.  Make sure Tina and Xene know who you would like to be your new co-leader so they can approve them before you ask the potential person(s) to be your co-leader.
• Meet 2-3 times a month for the time span you have set.
• When your End Date is drawing near, remind your group of it and direct them to the next Group Connect.  At that point half of your group can stay with you (the Life Group Leader) and half can stay with the Co-Leader and at Group Connect you can add in more people to the two groups.  Or the group can come to Group Connect and find different groups to join if they desire to do so.
•  We will need all your group members to fill out the Group Connect Registration here before coming to the Group Connect Event. Again, this will be after the 18-24 months of meeting.

Character Chaos, Setting Group Boundaries

Every group leader deals with a strong character in their group at one time or another.  We all agree that setting boundaries for group members is necessary for maintaining group health. But how do we approach a group member that refuses to live within those boundaries? How do we manage the tension between extending needy members grace and delivering truth?

Here are some ideas to help you manage the chaos that may come from this character:

Be Ready.

Start your next group meeting reviewing the some of the guidelines that are in the Group Agreement.  Respect. Group members should never say anything that will embarrass or undermine another group member.  Relationships.  The driving force behind Life Groups is the building of relationships.  Authenticity. The atmosphere should create openness and transparency among members. This is an environment where others feel free to be themselves.  Confidentiality.  For authenticity to occur, members must be able to trust that the issues discussed within the group will not be shared outside the group.  

 

Be compassionate.
Start with compassion. At first, it may be difficult to discern real need from “real needy.” If you enter into the fray with compassion, your heart will be ready to respond appropriately.  Try to be aware that there may be underlying insecurities that can be dealt with when compassion and grace are offered.  

Be aware.
Watch how the other members of the group respond to a potentially needy member. Look for signs that your other group members are growing tired or detached from the group. Look for rolling eyes, sidebar conversations, or even reduced attendance.

Be prepared.
Needy group members tend to dominate group discussion. Look for an opening to draw the conversation from the needy member and back to the group. You can do this by simply saying to another group member, “What do you think about that?” Always keep your ears open for a pause where you have the opportunity to bring the group back on task.

Be assertive.
You’ll probably have to address the needy member. Because of low self-awareness, needy members rarely resolves issues on their own. Be willing and prepared to address the issue when the time is right.

Be quick.
Address the issue as quickly as possible. The longer it continues, the harder it is to rein in and the more potential for damaging relationships inside the group increases. Waiting also increases the likelihood that someone else in the group will address the needy member in a less than ideal way.

Be discreet.

After you have reviewed to Group Guidelines you may have to have a private discussion.  Addressing needy people in a public forum isn’t best. It drives them away and potentially causes more damage. It’s best to address the issue outside of the regular group meeting. If it’s helpful, you can bring your co-leader along for the confrontation. This lets the needy member know that it’s not just one person’s opinion.

Be humble.
You want to balance speaking truth with a humble spirit. People tend to discount what they hear from someone they consider self-righteous or arrogant.

Be accepting.
Communicate acceptance. It’s easier to accept a difficult truth when you’re confident that they accept you as a person. If you’re not, then what they say comes across as rejection.

Be sound.
Focus on adding truth rather than pointing out errors. People don’t abandon what they think or believe just because someone presents a good argument.

Be thorough.
One conversation probably won’t resolve all issues. Be ready to have follow-up conversations. Encourage needy members to go down a road of self-discovery. Let them know you’re on their side and want to help them grow.

Be a leader.
Lead needy members to self-discovery. Preaching to them puts them in a position to defend their beliefs or behaviors. Asking good questions positions them to discover truth on their own.

Not every situation will be resolved in a desirable way. But if you use some of these ideas, they’ll give your group a greater chance of success. In the end, God is responsible for the outcome. We’re responsible for our attitude and actions when helping lead our groups.